This week’s post is an extension of the previous post about my family history of escaping to Canada from Vietnam as refugees. That backstory can be found here.
Childhood
There has always been a tremendous amount of love in my family. There was love from my parents to help me try new things, explore hobbies, and invest in me at a young age. They never pushed me too hard or forced me to try anything, which typically leads to kids hating things. My parents also gave me every opportunity to succeed when it came to education, learning, and new experiences. They would never let money be a blocker for doing anything related to personal growth, despite not always having the luxury to spend on it. Instead, they worked overtime and took on additional shifts at work to pour into learning opportunities for me. They struggled to speak English and couldn’t help me, so they hired a tutor to fill that gap—to read/edit my writing for school, work on reading comprehension, and communication skills. I was averaging B’s in math during elementary school, so they got in touch with a private tutoring company strengthening my learning for the current year and helping me get ahead of the curriculum. They noticed my love for jazz music and my desire to play an instrument, so they purchased a piano and saxophone where I practiced every day and even participated in the school jazz band. I enjoyed swimming at a young age and wanted to compete against other athletes—I joined the high school swim team and an external club outside for 5am practice every morning. I was a scrawny little boy, so my parents suggested I take TaeKwonDo at a local academy—5 years later I received a black belt. My visual art skills were atrocious—I drew stick figures my entire life, so they enrolled me in art class working on my painting, sketching, and creative skills taking place every Sunday morning for 6 years. I was absolutely spoiled by the numerous activities and hobbies—often overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things I was doing starting my morning at 5am. But, it was hard to turn down anything because I actually enjoyed every activity (with the exception of singing)—I developed the love for learning and trying new things. My parents were supportive and I appreciated every opportunity to learn knowing how hard they were working and the joy on their faces watching me grow. I was super privileged that my parents never denied me the opportunity to learn, in fact, they built on my desire to learn often suggesting and helping me discover activities that would build the most well-rounded skill sets.
Family
My family and I are super close—with the stories we share, experiences, and the amount of time we spend together. I attribute most of my cooking skills to my mom and handy/problem-solving skills to my dad (still working on this area). A regular night looks like us hanging out in the family room chatting, watching TV, cooking, or enjoying dinner at a local restaurant. Now that I’m 2500 miles away living in Seattle, I still Facetime my parents at least 2-3 times per week—maybe it’s because of the quarantine, maybe I’m still a momma’s boy at heart. I admire how close my parents are to their siblings and family members seeing them connect daily. They chat about everything. I think it’s the bond that is built when you go through an experience of coming to Canada and rebuilding a life here. It is the rags to riches story (we are by no means rich but you get the point)—coming to Canada with literally nothing and now they have a family, kids, a house, and a stable job. They have no real worry in the world like they had when trying to come—it’s a mission fulfilled and no future struggle can ever compare. That’s the bond of our family members, yet it is rarely ever brought up. Even the story of their struggles which I didn’t find out about until asking more about the specifics on a long wait at the doctor’s office in recent years. The bond of my parents and their families trickle to the kids as well—which resembles a relationship like close friends you enjoy spending time with. The relationship between my cousins and I are much closer than relationships I’ve noticed from friends. I would disappear during the Christmas holidays every year while friends seek to hangout, shop, or have piss-drunk Christmas parties. It’s the time of year I block off because it is a known family tradition that we have dinners and reunions every day.
Retrospective
My family taught me love in such a unique way. It was never explained and I didn’t realize how loved I was while so much was going on during my childhood. Through reflection, I can put into perspective the actions my parents took to raise me and provide me with love in so many ways. It’s given me a growth mindset to invest in myself and in others, and never deny anyone the opportunity to grow or learn. It also emphasized the importance of building strong bonds—the ones that keep friends forever, build insurmountable trust and community. While I don’t have the stories or experiences as my parents had, I have the core values from my family of love and relationships that are demonstrated by the day to day actions—how I behave, respond and adapt to anything life throws.